“The abusive man’s high entitlement leads him to have unfair and
unreasonable expectations, so that the relationship revolves around his
demands. His attitude is: “You owe me.” For each ounce he gives, he
wants a pound in return. He wants his partner to devote herself fully to
catering to him, even if it means that her own needs—or her
children’s—get neglected. You can pour all your energy into keeping your
partner content, but if he has this mind-set, he’ll never be satisfied
for long. And he will keep feeling that you are controlling him, because
he doesn’t believe that you should set any limits on his conduct or
insist that he meet his responsibilities.”
―
Lundy Bancroft
Show me a Nigerian man and i will show you someone who feels women are his BIRTHRIGHT...We are so invested in bringing up our girls to be beautiful and committed wives that we NEGLECT the sons who eventually grow up to be husbands and fathers..Hmmmm!!
I once dated this guy who was wouldn't allow me talk in public, when his friends try to get my opinion on issues he would literally step on my feet under the table so i don't "show too much intelligence". He didn't like my job, says my apartment was too furnished, says it was very unnecessary for women to travel abroad, he would shout and yell @ every giving opportunity saying i couldn't sweep,cut onions (crazy guy) he would belittle me and just make me feel worthless and useless. And on the flip side this same guy was sleeping with all the girls in the area, meeting girls online and exchanging PICTURES with them amongst so many things am too embarrassed to even mention and above all brother was JOBLESS (did my investigation after some things didn't add up)
Here is my point, Nigerian men have been brain washing directly or indirectly to believe that women are meant to SERVE them, rub their egos and deal with what ever bullshits they serve. Don't get me wrong men should be RESPECTED and CARED FOR but when he feels like he can talk you down, emotionally and physiologically DRAIN you, physically assault you, cheat and then tell you oh!!! its your fault,you became too FAT, too thin, you now have stretch marks after child birth, you didn't give me dog style, i told you to stop wearing makeup, told you to stop working etc
Oga even if you are with an abusive woman, just walk away and if you're married pls divorce her. Send her back to her parents if she refuses to change but pounding her like a welder is UNACCEPTABLE and then bragging about it.....SHAME!!
Women on the other hand should know when to draw the line of NO RETURN any man who keeps reminding you constantly exactly why he is still with you and why no one else would want to be with you, should not BE WITH YOU.
I understand that been in Africa as a woman is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT because your life's success is measured by your MAN or HUSBANDS ratings but above all the moment we stop entitling men and demand nothing less than RESPECT and DECENCY things will never change.
No comments:
Post a Comment