5 Ways To Cope When An Adult Friendships Ends!

Breaking up with friends is hard. Sometimes, it can be because you are both different people and are growing in different directions, or it can be something darker like they are a toxic influence on you. Whatever the reason, sometimes adult friendships need to end and it can be hard to know what to do, how to move forward, and move on.

Don’t underestimate the struggle of a friendship breakup. It can be just as painful as a romantic breakup, and you shouldn’t fall into the trap of pretending it isn’t as painful as it is. We can often trust our friends more than anyone, which means it can feel even more devastating when the relationship ends.

Here are five ways to cope when adult friendships end and move on:

1. Remind Yourself That People Come and Go for a Reason

Life is not linear. You may meet someone and it may go well, but that doesn’t mean you are supposed to be with them forever.

Not all people are supposed to be in your life. Sometimes, they come into your life for a reason and leave when the lesson is learned.

There is great peace in thinking that people come in phases and when their time is up, they move on. There is no rhyme or reason, no right or wrong. It just is.

2. Learn and Understand the Grieving Process

You have experienced a loss⁠—a breakup. Understanding and learning the grieving process can be exceedingly helpful if you feel the loss consuming you. You are grieving the loss of your friendship, and understanding why you go from denial to anger in a split second can help bring back control over what is happening to you.

Remember that grieving is not a linear process either. You can process emotionally in one area, like the loss of day-to-day chatting and contact, and then five months later, you may realize that another aspect of your friendship is over and the grieving process starts again.

3. Keep a Journal to Process Your Feelings

Breakups are messy, romantic or not. You will have to process a lot of feelings, and the best way to cope with the loss and pain is to get it out of your head and onto paper.

If they remain in your head, it is easy to obsess over them. It is like walking around with a book in front of your face. You  keep re-reading the same page and get frustrated that you can’t see where you are going, and the story isn’t advancing. There is no closure.

4. Reach Out to Good Friends and Lean on Them

You have other adult friendships in your life. No matter who you have lost, there are others who will still be there for you.

There is a great Dr. Seuss quote that says, “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

You are going through a loss, and one of those losses might be regular contact with a friend or someone to do things with daily. Most of the time, it will be habitual. You don’t have to let that habit go, just reach out to other people to attend events, hang out, or chat with you.

7. Show Yourself Kindness, Spend Time Learning About Yourself

At the end of the day, you have experienced loss. You are not a failure or unworthy, and you need to treat yourself with kindness.

Start with self-forgiveness. Take all the time you need, but forgive your friend for the end of the friendship and forgive yourself so you can move on. Now is a great time to spend some time learning about yourself and reflect on what you want  in a friendship.

It is so easy to close yourself off, but you deserve to have a thriving and happy social life. This includes friendships. Take some time to work out what kind of people you want to surround yourself with and build stronger friendships with them.